Confessions of a Part-Time Hipster and Faux Realist

This is the result of the encouragement of a good friend. . . 

1) Sometimes when I am watching a movie or tv show and there is a female character that exudes characteristics that I hate about myself or wish I had, I automatically dislike that character. And once I dislike a character, there is no turning back. No matter how much someone may try to convince me otherwise. Also, there is a 100% chance that the true reason I am not in favor of a certain character is ever divulged.

2) I am a book snob. A completely ridiculous, utterly impossible book snob. I have rules about the books I read, and I follow them. Anything British. Anything written before the mid-20th century. Any new fiction that is not over-popularized. If a book starts to develop a fandom before I have read it, there is a good chance I never will.

3) I am very protective of the books I do read. Once I am attached, I become mildly obsessed. It's a problem that often results in unnecessary stress and a sort of post-reading depression.

4) I like people to think that I am pragmatic and resourceful, but really I am hopelessly idealistic and whimsy.

5) I can never understand when people say that they do not like art. That is like saying you've never looked at a painting, photo, drawing, sculpture, etc. and had a thought about it, even if that thought was incomplete or incoherent. While I am an absolute believer that art should make you think, feel, and move you in some way, I am also an absolute believer that it can be for the sake of beauty and pleasure alone. How can someone truly look at the work of. . . Michaelagelo, Titian, or Modigliani. . . and not at least think, "Yes, that is beautiful."

6) The probable reason I've never been on a date with anyone is because I'm outlandishly picky and critical. I sabotage myself, but I can't help thinking that there must be someone out there that holds the same standards that I do. I'm holding out for him.

7) A guy who can dress well is a turn on.

8) A guy who is conceited because he can dress well is a turn off.

9) I'm a closet fashion diva. If I had the money and was diligent enough, I'm convinced I'd have a stunning wardrobe.

10) Sometimes I judge books by their covers... which is why I believe that publishers should just go back to binding them in a solid colored outer shell. That way I won't have this problem.

11) Hyperbole is my best friend. I don't think we've gone a day without spending time with each other.

12) If I could get lost in any fictional world... I would choose the Doctor's without hesitation. While magic, super powers, talking animals, pirates, knights, elves, and other ethereal beings are beyond cool, I have this overwhelming longing to know what is beyond the stars. I have been fascinated with the night sky even before I started watching Doctor Who in high school. It's actually become somewhat of an obsession and sometimes the only place I can ever really find any solace. I just know that somewhere out there in the universe, there is something waiting to be discovered beyond my imagination. And if nothing else, just looking up into the stars and remembering to breathe can really put your life into perspective when you feel like you're losing grip.

13) If I could get lost anywhere in the real world... I would choose England. While one of my greatest ambitions is to see the world and as much of its glory as possible, I know England is where my heart will always belong. English culture has been another obsession of mine. I remember when I was in elementary school I checked out the two books on England from the library so many times that the librarian became concerned about my reading habits. But I didn't care about the other books she suggested I read.

14) Once when I was little I saw a movie (and I don't remember what it was) where a character said that she wanted to learn another language so that she could talk about other people and they wouldn't understand her. I remember thinking what a brilliant idea this was. I now have a minor in French... which may or may not have been an extended reaction to this notion.

15) Every time I try to diet I fail miserably because I love food so much. But then I look at myself and hate what I see. So I try again, but food always gets the best of me. It's a never ending cycle. One day I'm hoping that my vanity prevails.

16) Here is, in no particular order, a list of my top five favorite fictional characters from literature (at the moment):

     a) Cassandra Mortmain -- I Capture the Castle

     b) Heathcliff -- Wuthering Heights

     c) Edmond Dantès -- The Count of Monte Cristo

     d) Bridget Jones -- Bridget Jones' Diary

     e) Sherlock Holmes -- The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes

18) The only thing I would ever give up acting for is England.

19) I'm too frivolous with my money and can't keep to a budget even if that budget needs to be adhered to.

20) I love spending time alone, but I hate feeling alone.

21) I do not, and probably never will, believe that I am worth it.